Random thoughts

Blaine thinks coughing is the same as laughing. He does this fake cough thing sometimes instead of laughing, and the other day, when I was choking, he just cackled and cackled.

I told my mother that I wish he wouldn't cough because it was hard on his vocal cords, and she looked at me like I'd lost my marbles. I don't think I convinced her, but seriously, if you are a singer and care about having healthy vocal cords, coughing is incredibly bad for them. Washing away the debris by drinking water rather than coughing or clearing your throat is a much healthier solution. I'm not worried about Blaine although nodules on vocal cords can occur at young ages. I am almost certain that one little third grader in my church choir has vocal nodules. I can hear it, and it makes certain things hard for him to sing.

My husband thinks I'm depriving Blaine of real food. He used to be content on the floor or in the swing while we were eating. Now he insists on being right up there at the table where the action is. And he watches. He watches the fork from the plate to the mouth and back again. He is fascinated. I was planning to wait till he was six months old before I fed him anything besides breast milk. We have several weeks to go. I told Phil that if he bought Blaine a high chair I would consider starting a little early...he doesn't believe me, but just between you and me, if I had a highchair, I'd start using it and break out the rice cereal.

Blaine is teething. He has this cry when he is in pain that just tears at your heart. It's a cry I cannot ignore; I think God made it that way on purpose. He just chews and chews and slobbers and slobbers. He's a very slimy boy at times.

A question for all you mom's out there--Do you ever just look at your child and feel so full of love and wonder and gratitude and just not know what to do with it or how to express it? There is something so deeply satisfying about being a mom. I truly love it.

One more thing--Is it a mom thing to look askance at a new mom when she says, "I can't wait till he starts crawling and walking"? Do mothers really wish their children stayed babies? I can't wait to see what Blaine will be like when he's an adult. I suppose I will have my own moments of wishing he was still little, warm, soft, cuddly, and sweet-smelling after a bath, but I do not understand the eye-rolling, just-wait attitude I get when I anticipate Blaine growing up. My goal is to enjoy all stages of child-rearing. Bring on the terrible twos, adolescent moods, and teenage idealism. So far I am enjoying the stage we are in with Blaine even as I anticipate growth. (Truthfully? I'm worried that if he keeps growing at the current rate, I'll be hauling around a fifty pounder that doesn't walk yet. Blaine walking looks like the best thing for the preservation of my back. Grin. If my neph were here he would say, "So it's not about Blaine at all; it's all about you." Yep.)

Being a mom has taught me:
Your own child's slime isn't gross.

The age of accountability

When is the age of accountability? When does a child become lost rather than safe? How do we train our children to be godly and yet help them make a conscious choice to follow God rather than only give them a lifestyle that reaps its own good benefits because it is a healthy lifestyle? Why do people who have a visibly sinful past often seem to have a greater appreciation for salvation than those who have lived a godly lifestyle their entire life?

These questions came to mind as I was addressing a question in one of the comments. I pray that Blaine has a tender conscience toward God his entire life. I suppose the reason I said that I hoped he would choose to follow God during his teen and adult years is because that is the age of reason. The age when he becomes most aware of what he has chosen if he chooses to follow Christ. I have no objection to children inviting Jesus to live in their heart at whatever age God calls them no matter how young. I believe, however, that we do them a disservice when we leave it at that. When we make them full-fledged voting members of the church at age 6 or 10 or even 12.

I believe that a parent must be very discerning in this area. If a young child truly feels guilt for his sin and understands enough of the salvation message to give his heart to Jesus, I believe that we should help him ask Jesus to live in his heart. What a blessing for a child to be committed to God from a young age.

However, there is a difference between guilt over something he has done wrong (disobeyed, stole a cookie, mean to the dog) and the guilt of being a sinner separated from God. A parent must be discerning.

Also, when a young child becomes a Christian, I think it is important for that decision to be reaffirmed when he is older, a teenager. Different churches do it differently. Here's how I think it should happen.

I think that when a child becomes a Christian, he should be baptized after some formal instruction and become a non-voting, communion-taking part of the church. I think that during high school age, after another period of Biblical instruction, the child should be asked to confirm that decision verbally and give testimony to the church and become a voting member of the church. If, at high school age, the child has never been baptized, this would be a time for that as well. I think both stages should be important ceremonies in the life of the child and of the church. I have not been a part of any church that has done it this way, but it seems to me to take care of the weaknesses I see in many churches' current practice that either have a long period of time between the child accepting Christ and the child being baptized, or that baptize when the child is young and never have a time of instruction when the child is really old enough to benefit from it.

I have two more thoughts. First, blogging is hard because it is impossible to give a full scope to what you want to say. How does one prevent misunderstandings? A two-way conversation to the face is much easier.

Second, more on Ezzo. As Sharon mentioned, she found lots of negative on him when she did a search. I've heard that he did get into some hot water in the past, and as I understand, he's made some changes addressing those issues although I have not looked into it. As with all teachers, not everything they say is good, true, or applicable. Everything one learns should be filtered through Scripture, your own knowledge and experience, and prayer. I do not recommend that you take any expert and follow them blindly. However, I have really appreciated the teaching I have received from Ezzo's series, "Let the children come along the infant way." It has added some additional tools to my parenting toolbox.

Blaine just woke from his nap. My time is up. Pardon any misspellings.

It's all new for me!

My first post. I better do it right.

Have you ever felt that way about anything new?

I'm also a new mom. I better get that right.

Just so you know, I'm the sister-in-law to Life in the Shoe, the aunt to the By-log, and long time friend and singing pal to ITF. And, in February, I just had a baby. His name is Blaine. He's just the sweetest thing that has ever happened to me. Two and a half years before that, I married Phil. He's the growingest thing that ever happened to me. I have lots of thoughts on marriage and mothering. Today I'll give you random parenting thoughts.

Parenting is so important. Why on earth wouldn't you take every opportunity to do it well. Read books, attend classes, watch videos, search the Scripture...there is so much godly parenting advice out there, why wouldn't you seek it out and use what fits you and your situation? Do you really think that children just raise themselves and that the way you were raised is the ultimate in parenting?

I have friends that just float through parenting with seemingly little thought about how to do it best. They aren't bad parents; they just don't seem to feel any urgency. I feel urgency. I want nothing more for my children than for them to grow up to serve God. Really serve Him. Make a difference WHEREVER God calls them. I ask God almost every day to help me be an effective parent so that Blaine will choose to follow Christ as a teenager and adult. I ask God that he will give us wisdom to train him up in the gifts that he has been given so that he has the skills in place to do the work God will call him to. I don't want to waste God's time with my children. I want to do everything I can to prepare them to be effectime emissaries for God. (I only have one at the moment, but anticipate more in the future--no, no, no, none on the way, yet!)

So, "Babywise" or "Along the Infant Way" by Ezzo and Ezzo. It works. Sleep, eat, wake-time. It's a great concept, and it works. Train your child to go to sleep on his own. It works. (This is also known as Ferberizing your baby; Ferber is some sleep expert that I saw quoted on the Baby Center's website. Interestingly enough, his ideas lined up with Ezzo.) So, if your baby is three months old and not sleeping through the night, you might want to check Ezzo out. Blaine was around four months when I started the sleep, eat, wake-time routine and began working on teaching him to go to sleep on his own for naps and at night. A week or two later, he was consistently sleeping through the night. Now he is five months old and sleeps from 8 or 9 p.m. throught till 7 or 8 a.m. Sleep is a wonderful thing for both of us.

My time is up. More thoughts in my brain. Maybe tomorrow.